The Habanero
by Diamond Iris
Summary: Some time after Bella becomes a vampire, the others take her out drinking to find out how it affects her. Hilarity ensues. I own nothing. All credit goes to Miss Stephenie Meyer.


Chapter 1  
How Do I Get Roped Into These Things

Being a vampire has its perks. For example, you don't have to worry about what you eat because you won't gain any weight from eating the wrong thing…wait, scratch that. That's not entirely true. You **do **have to watch what eat; i.e. not killing humans. You also don't sleep so you can stay up later. This comes in handy; especially tonight.

Edward and I were sitting at home when Alice suddenly came bouncing through the door. She ran over to the couch where I was sitting and quietly reading and plopped herself down next to me.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Edward said as he looked over at her and raised his right eyebrow.

"Edward, come on. It's not like you're sleeping that I'm going to disturb you."

"No, but we could've been doing other things."

"Like what 'other things'?" she sneered.

Edward gave her a look and raised both of his eyebrows. It took her a few seconds but then her mouth opened in an "oh" and she realized what he was talking about.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly.

I wanted her to get to the point so I could continue reading my book. I shifted in my seat and asked, "What's up?"

"Well," she said, "since you guys are just sitting at home and doing nothing, we were wondering if you two would like to join us."

Edward moved forward and leaned on the counter. "Alice, just who is 'us'?"

She was looking down and playing with the hem of her shirt. There was something she didn't want to tell us. "No one, just me and Jasper and hm-mm-mph." She mumbled the last part.

"What?" Edward asked.

She sighed and said, "Emmett and Rose."

Emmett and Rose, greaaaaat. It's not that I don't like Emmett and Rose; it's just that I've never gotten along with Rose; and Emmett…well, let's just say he doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut.

"Where are you going?" asked Edward.

"A little bar outside of town called The Habanero."

Edward was thinking it over. He looked at me as if to ask me what I'd like to do. You know me; I'm not, nor have I ever been, one to go out.

Alice looked at me with those puppy dog eyes of hers that she does so well, but this time she added the lower lip. She pouted at me and said, "Please?"

This was so not fair! She does this every time! She knows that I can't say no to her when she does that. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and looked away from her and sighed. I looked to Edward for some kind of help, but he offered me none. He just laughed. He looked at me and shrugged. "It's up to you, dear." I guess I was alone in this.

I sighed again and finally consented. "Fine, we'll go. Just don't take me shopping again like you did last time." She giggled and jumped up off the couch.

"Yea! Be ready to leave at 9." She bounded out the door and back for the house. I turned to Edward and shook my head.

"At least I don't have to go shopping with her," I smiled.

Chapter 2  
This Is Why I Don't Drink

I stood in front of my open closet and stared. What do you wear to a bar? I'd never gone out drinking before. I didn't want to disappoint Alice. Well, it wasn't so much the fact of disappointing her; it was more the criticizing remarks she'd give me if I wear the wrong thing.

I decided on blue jeans and a t-shirt with a pair of black and white Chuck's. I walked down the stairs, grabbed my purse off the hook, and Edward and I headed out the door. Everyone was waiting for us at the Cullen's house. I saw Alice glance at my outfit and, to my surprise, she didn't say anything. She gave, what I thought was, an approving nod. I was relieved. It was nine o' clock and I didn't want us to waste any time going back to our house and having Alice pick out what she thought was a decent outfit.

We borrowed Carlisle's SUV and drove together. It didn't surprise me when Edward volunteered to drive. We drove for what seemed like forever, until we finally came to this quaint little bar in the middle of nowhere. As we pulled up, I could see that the neon sign read _The Habanero._ Cars packed the tiny parking lot. As I glanced around, I could see that our car was the only expensive one there.

We walked inside and there was a bouncer carding everyone. Even though, technically we were 17, we each had a valid, updated driver's license. But we didn't need those, because when he saw Emmett, he immediately knew who he was.

"Emmett! My man! How's it goin'?"

They gave each other the "man hug" and Emmett said, "Not much, not much." Without even so much as glancing at our IDs, he let us in, no questions asked. Now, like I've said before, I'm no expert on bars, but from what I'd seen on TV and in movies, this seemed like your typical, run-of-the-mill, packed to the ceiling, smoked filled bar. And even though the country music was blaring through the sound system, I could hear the thumping of tens of heartbeats.

We made our way to the bar and ordered our drinks. I've never drank before, so I had no idea what to get. Alice could sense my apprehension, and ordered something for me. "Two cosmos, please," she said with a smile. The bartender started mixing our drinks immediately. I listened as the others ordered. Jasper ordered a straight Jack on the rocks, Emmett ordered a Miller High Life, and Rose ordered a gin martini. But I was surprised that Edward hadn't ordered anything. I'd always taken him to be a scotch man. But I respected that. I guess he figured someone had to be the designated driver. Then it hit me. Could vampires get drunk? The thought had never really crossed my mind until now. So I asked Edward, "Can vampires get drunk?"

Emmett heard me and answered. "Well, that's what we're here to find out," he said with a grin.

Alice clarified it for me. "Well, that's not exactly why we're here." She turned to look at me. "Bella, we want to try something on you. Don't worry," she quickly added when she saw my hesitation, "it's nothing bad. It's just that, well….we've all gone drinking before while we were vampires and we each know how it affects us. You see, because vampires only live on blood, our bodies are not used to drinking alcohol. So, therefore, when we do, we metabolize it a lot faster than humans do. For instance, with me it hits me pretty quick because I'm so small. Emmett, on the other hand, can handle it a little more because he's bigger; but after about 30 minutes, he's drunk. So, we wanted to see what happens to you."

So that's why Edward didn't want to drink! He knows what happens to him and he doesn't like the feeling. Lucky him! I didn't really want to do this, but I knew that if I didn't, Emmett would never let me hear the end of it. I had to admit, I was kind of curious. I took my drink, raised it to my lips and took a drink.

It was instantaneous! The moment I swallowed, it hit me…hard. My head was swimming. I began to feel funny. _Wow!_ I thought. _Is this what it's like to be drunk?_ The whole room was spinning. I had to sit down. I saw Edward to my left and I thought _Who is this guy? He's cute! _I stood right in front of him with my arms draped around his neck. I looked at him and asked in a drunken stupor, "Are you an habanero man? Because you're hot!" Alice heard me and she stumbled over to me and we both laughed out loud…and I mean loud. I think the whole bar heard us.

Edward just looked at me and said calmly, "Bella, you're drunk. Come on, guys. Let's go home."

He wanted to go? But we were having so much fun! I'd never felt this way before and I kind of liked it. I pouted at him and said, "Oh, come on! We just got here! Can't we stay just a little longer?"

He looked at me for a few seconds then said, "Fine. One more hour, then we're leaving." We cheered and ordered some more drinks. Before we knew it, our one hour was over and we had to go home. Edward helped me out to the car and lifted me in. The five of us talked the entire way home.

We pulled into the garage and we stumbled back into the house, laughing and talking loud the entire way in. Carlisle and Esme were sitting in the living room, reading. They heard us come in (who couldn't hear us with all the noise we were making). Carlisle looked up from his paper and Esme from her book. Carlisle looked at Edward who gave him an apologetic shrug. He just rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath and Emse just shook her head and grinned. Edward and I walked back to the cottage and he set me down on the couch. I had fun, but I wasn't sure how I'd feel about it in the morning.

The next morning, after I'd sobered up, I asked Edward why he didn't drink last night. "Because," he said, "it turns me into something I'm not. I'm never sure if I'll be able to control myself. The first time that I did it, I almost ended up killing someone. It took both Jasper and Emmett to hold me back. Luckily, no one saw. But we got out of there right away in case I tried to do it again."

His story made me think. I was lucky that that didn't happen to me. I vowed never to do it again. I did mention before, though, that being a vampire does have its perks. But I failed to mention one. Not only do you not have to worry about your diet or sleep. But if you go out drinking, there's no hangover the next morning.


End file.
